Gettin Old Sucks!!!

Okay, here's the deal. I busted my ass gettin here and now I have to make many decisions. Let's face it, I am not a good decision maker. I just am not. I jump right in without thinking and then when it doesn't work out I get my feelings hurt and run away to lick my wounds. It has always been black or white for me. No gray. That has got to change.

I am glad I had a 10 month vacation. I saw new places and spent time with family that I hadn't seen in years. I learned some lessons about relationships. I learned that I am not as tough as I thought I was. Those people I spent time with told me what a jerk I was years ago. I know I was angry but not the asshole they described. No matter.

Now I have to find a new home for Emily and me. She is afraid of my daughter's cat, Precious, and just stays in our bedroom. I know what kind of home I want. One I cannot afford. I will have to get a job to help with the rent. I am not ready for a senior home unless it was a really nice one with lots of cute old farts and activities.

I am trying to be patient. Resting up before looking for a place to live. Then I can find a bank, a job and a bar where I can walk and not drive my car as gas is over $4 in this place called Paradise. I probably can't afford a beer. And I sure can't count on someone buying one for an old lady like me. Damn, it's hell gettin old. But as they say, "what's the alternative?"

YOU CAN GO HOME AGAIN!!!

I made it!! Just Emily and me. From New York State to San Diego. It only took 4 1/2 days!! I am so damned proud of myself. I was worried about the trip because I have a cataract problem and I am not good at reading signs from a distance. So I would get up close and then make a dash for it! It wasn't really that scary.

Emily would sleep all day. I drove for at least 10 hours, stopping for gas and coffee and to use the ladies room. When we went to the motel room she would sniff around and be restless as hell. I didn't last too long before my body needed rest. Then she would begin crying and moving around the room looking for a way out. I am a light sleeper so this was not good. I even threatened to lock her in the car so I could get some sleep. I just couldn't do that to her. She has been moved 5 times in the last 9 months. Poor kitty. But so have I so I just told her to do what I do, SUCK IT UP!!

My daughters were both calling on the cell phone, which scares me because they are so small (the phone not my daughters) and I have trouble answering while driving. Besides that, it will soon be illegal! My West coast daughter was watching the weather and was scared for me when the tornado hit Arkansas. I was listening to it on the radio, but they only mentioned counties, not states, so how was I to know I was in the middle of it. The sky did get black and big winds were there and also rain, but I couldn't really read the signs to get off the freeway. I was in the middle of a big city and afraid I would get lost if I left "40 West". Anyway, it missed me.

It cost $456 for gas and $200 for cheap motels and almost nothing for food because I packed snack food I did enjoy a beer and crackers and cheese in the evenings while watching tv..

I am staying at my daughter's very nice home near the beach and trying to relax before looking for a new home for me and my lovely cat.

My daughter is a gourmet cook. She has a coupla blogs kellementology and Sass & Veracity, and we have wonderful food for dinner and dessert. We have to wait until she takes pictures of everything before we can enjoy. I will have to be very careful not to overeat. Hahahahah. It really is good to be home. I had a wonderful Mother's Day. Visit to the Farmer's Market where I purchased a fuschia plant and breakfast at a lovely outdoor cafe in La Jolla.

Emily seems happy also.