Settled at Last!!

I have actually moved in and have enjoyed my own new bed. Emily, my nervous cat, is taking a little longer to settle in than myself. I am playing classical music for her. Mostly to drown out the noise of the street. She is nine years old and has never been close to a street with traffic. Boy, eould'nt have picked a noisier intersection. I did'nt want to wait for another apt to open up. And I have great views from my windows!

This morning I was potting flowers on my deck and my neighbor popped out to get his paper and he was nude! I wish I had had my camera. I laughed when he moved the paper to his penis and said "Oh, you're here!" That was so funny. I laughed and laughed. He stopped by later (fully dressed) and aplolgized. He explained that when it is hot he sleeps nude. I asked what time he usually gets his paper.

I am at the "Summer Dance" in the rec room. A live band! Most of the guests aren't but the ones that are are dancing and very well I might add.

Just got an alert that Blogger may not be able to save my post. I will have pix tomorrow if I have to do it again.,

WHAT AM I WAITING FOR????

I asked myself that very question last night! The family and I were talking about their vacation plans which begins on July 1. That is a week away. My daughter said "why are you not at your apartment sleeping in that wonderful new bed?" I said " I never thought of that". Then I had to explain that since I am staying here to care for her big lovely dog and stupid cat that it would be better for my cat, who is very smart and sensitive, to just wait til they return and then Emily and I can go to our new home and not have to run back and forth. Makes sense to me.

It is difficult to live out of a suitcase. I know because I have done that for the past year. I want to go HOME and know I can stay there with all my STUFF! Am I nutz or what?

WHAT DO YOU THINK???

Home Sweet Home (at last)

I have my very own home again!!! The picture on the right is my dream home. Sigh. But I am moving into a nice one bedroom apartment in and "Active Senior Community". I am close to the Pacific Ocean and get the cool breeze. I am the owner of a new pillow top mattress for the first time in my life. It is being delivered tomorrow. Also purchased a sofa that makes into a bed or chaise lounge. How sexy is that? Bought some dishes and other cooking stuff. It is easy when you live alone.

I met a very cute man at the rec. room. He invited me to play ping pong with them. I told him that I was moving and would another day. I went out and purchased a paddle and some balls. I love the area. Everything you need is within walking distance. And with gas at $4.54 per gal I will be doing a lot of walking.

I think my blog should be a lot more interesting now that I am going to be living around lots of old funny farts. Stay tuned. I will keep you posted as to when I actually move in. First, I am pet sitting for my family while they vacation in Italy!

MEDICARE--A NECESSARY EVIL

Wow! Leaving California a year ago was easy. Getting back in isn't! It was hard enough driving myself back to my home state of 40 years, but taking care of business to be reinstated as a RESIDENT is just a pain in my ASS!

My daughter welcomed me into her home to allow me to settle down and make plans for my future. I did that. Made arrangements for my money to be transferred to local bank and called Social Security/Medicare to change address. I called Kaiser Permanente to transfer my medical insurance from VA to CA. A representative came out to my daughter's home, my home as fas as anyone else is concerned. She took my information and left to complete my enrollment. I got a letter that they needed proof of residency! I went to Social Security and had a print out made and mailed it to them in order to insure medical coverage on June 1st. NOT! The Kaiser people said Medicare want my name on a utility bill that connects me to my daughter's address. I called Medicare and they said they had my change of address on file and that is all they need. I call that Passing the Buck! WTF?

So I am in the process of getting registered to vote, getting a library card and a CA drivers license and anything else that proves I live here. My question is----when did it become a law that if you live with your children you have to be on the utility bills. I am 70 years of age and should be able to camp out with my kids. VA didn't give a crap who I lived with as long as I paid the premium! California needs to get over herself!

My daughter placed a complaint with The Joint Commission. Let's see how long it takes to hear from them. Oh, I had already applied to The Orchard, Active Senior Living for an apt. which has a waiting list of 2 - 8 months. So I am screwed til then.

So plan your retirement better than I did!

"HURRY UP AND WAIT"

I learned this "quote" when I was a navy wife. I have never been known as a patient person. I think a lot. Too much. But when I sorta get a plan I want to act on "the plan" like now. It all began 18 months ago when my daughter et al moved to Virginia. I wanted out of the place I had lived in for 5 years and I thought following her to the east coast was a perfectly good reason to do so. I did. It did not work out. I left after 5 months of misery and went to New York state to visit the nearest relative, my younger sister. I was among the walking wounded and she welcomed me with open arms. I liked the area and the snow and all that went with it, but my sister began looking for a place for me to live. We did and I did. That didn't work either. So after a little thinking I made a plan to return to the west coast. Which I did. Drove my car with the company of my cat and arrived 4 and 1/2 days later.

Now I am camped out in my oldest daughter"s office. She moved her computer to her bedroom. She is an avid blogger. Spends a lot of time on her cooking blog. We have wonderful food everyday, which I am very happy about. The downside to this is that her computer is now very SLOW. I , of course, feel responsible and have suggested she move her computer back in her office (my temporary bedroom). No way!

The second part of my plan is to find suitable housing for myself and my cat, Emily. My daughter wants to help me in this plan. We want to find a place that is near her. Which is not probable due to the fact that she lives in the hoity toity part of the city. Before leaving last year I resided in a community 45 miles from her home and we did not spend much time together. We both want that to change. I found a place 10 minutes away. I love it. An Active Seniors apartment complex. But there is a waiting list. So I wait. A very hard thing for me. I help out around the house, keeping a low profile. Which is also not an easy thing for me.

Please, dear God, let my apartment become available before I wear out another welcome.

Gettin Old Sucks!!!

Okay, here's the deal. I busted my ass gettin here and now I have to make many decisions. Let's face it, I am not a good decision maker. I just am not. I jump right in without thinking and then when it doesn't work out I get my feelings hurt and run away to lick my wounds. It has always been black or white for me. No gray. That has got to change.

I am glad I had a 10 month vacation. I saw new places and spent time with family that I hadn't seen in years. I learned some lessons about relationships. I learned that I am not as tough as I thought I was. Those people I spent time with told me what a jerk I was years ago. I know I was angry but not the asshole they described. No matter.

Now I have to find a new home for Emily and me. She is afraid of my daughter's cat, Precious, and just stays in our bedroom. I know what kind of home I want. One I cannot afford. I will have to get a job to help with the rent. I am not ready for a senior home unless it was a really nice one with lots of cute old farts and activities.

I am trying to be patient. Resting up before looking for a place to live. Then I can find a bank, a job and a bar where I can walk and not drive my car as gas is over $4 in this place called Paradise. I probably can't afford a beer. And I sure can't count on someone buying one for an old lady like me. Damn, it's hell gettin old. But as they say, "what's the alternative?"

YOU CAN GO HOME AGAIN!!!

I made it!! Just Emily and me. From New York State to San Diego. It only took 4 1/2 days!! I am so damned proud of myself. I was worried about the trip because I have a cataract problem and I am not good at reading signs from a distance. So I would get up close and then make a dash for it! It wasn't really that scary.

Emily would sleep all day. I drove for at least 10 hours, stopping for gas and coffee and to use the ladies room. When we went to the motel room she would sniff around and be restless as hell. I didn't last too long before my body needed rest. Then she would begin crying and moving around the room looking for a way out. I am a light sleeper so this was not good. I even threatened to lock her in the car so I could get some sleep. I just couldn't do that to her. She has been moved 5 times in the last 9 months. Poor kitty. But so have I so I just told her to do what I do, SUCK IT UP!!

My daughters were both calling on the cell phone, which scares me because they are so small (the phone not my daughters) and I have trouble answering while driving. Besides that, it will soon be illegal! My West coast daughter was watching the weather and was scared for me when the tornado hit Arkansas. I was listening to it on the radio, but they only mentioned counties, not states, so how was I to know I was in the middle of it. The sky did get black and big winds were there and also rain, but I couldn't really read the signs to get off the freeway. I was in the middle of a big city and afraid I would get lost if I left "40 West". Anyway, it missed me.

It cost $456 for gas and $200 for cheap motels and almost nothing for food because I packed snack food I did enjoy a beer and crackers and cheese in the evenings while watching tv..

I am staying at my daughter's very nice home near the beach and trying to relax before looking for a new home for me and my lovely cat.

My daughter is a gourmet cook. She has a coupla blogs kellementology and Sass & Veracity, and we have wonderful food for dinner and dessert. We have to wait until she takes pictures of everything before we can enjoy. I will have to be very careful not to overeat. Hahahahah. It really is good to be home. I had a wonderful Mother's Day. Visit to the Farmer's Market where I purchased a fuschia plant and breakfast at a lovely outdoor cafe in La Jolla.

Emily seems happy also.

On The Road Again

Sorry to say that Emily and I are heading out for San Diego next week. Try as I may, I just couldn't stay on the east coast. Financially. But I had a good time in Va with my daughter and family. I loved seeing the trees change color. Had fun boating on the Potomac. Harper's Ferry was a great place to have lunch. Tubin the rapids was terrific. Loved the bike path and beers at the Vienna Inn. I loved feeding the deer that brought their bambis to my door. (tried to insert a really cute pix, but)

After the holidays I drove to New York State to enjoy the lovely winter weather. Rented an apartment that I could not afford and tried to figue out how to retire here. Switch from Kaiser medical insurance my medicare provider. I drove back to Va to see the doctor. Not fun. Too far . I loved spending time on my sister and bro-in-law's farm. 2 horses, 3 dogs and 2 cats. Very relaxed atmosphere. In VA we were always on the go. Whew!

Blogger is screwed up today so i will try to publish this NOW!

Alive and Still Kicking

Wow! Did anyone get the license off that truck that just ran over me?

I have been sick since monday and it is funny that I am because I don't come in contact with that many people. Whatever this bug is, it is a strong one. It had to jump a long way to reach me.

It all began with a dry cough. Then it got so bad I thought my ribs were going to crack or already were. I drank a lot of water, juice and rested. Mainly because I didn't have the strength to do anything else. My head ached along with the rest of my body. My sweet brother-in-law brought homemade chicken soup on the third evening. He just put it on the table and made a quick retreat. Smart man. Yesterday my sister dropped by with another care package consisting of spiced tea, cough drops, canned soup and expectorant. I took one dose at 10 am and my nose began to run. It ran and ran and ran. I used a whole box of tissue. I poked tissue up my nostrils which had begun to burn. Then I became worried that I wouldn't be able to breathe well enough to sleep. I began to tire of being ill. I had a glass of wine, and then another. I can't say it helped, but it didn't hurt either. At 10 pm I took 2 tylenol pm and went to bed. One nostril was open so I was happy. I woke up sometime during the night with my cat, Emily, sleeping on my head! I think she was taking care of me.

I feel better this morning. Not great, but better.

One thing I have learned this week is that I am not alone and people care about me. My sister and husband are total caregivers. My daughters have both been in touch with me by phone and email. And my friends on the internet with their interesting blogs have been my constant companions.

Speaking of blogs, one in particular caught my attention: why paisley??? rent. It is totally me or so some whould think. There are so many great writers out there. I am not a sitter but I sure can sit in front of my computer.

I think I'll live.

IS THIS WHAT THEY CALL CABIN FEVER???

Wow!! After the beautiful snow all I have to see is this.

I loved the snow. So clean. So fluffy. I enjoyed walking in it, feeling it fall on my upturned face. Do I have to wait another year to enjoy the snow?

I have heard this place is beautiful in the spring. Flowers blooming under blue skies. Soft breezes. I am having trouble envisioning those promises. I think I have CABIN FEVER!!! I spend hours in front of the tv. I love to read, but am too restless to sit still more than a few pages. I am eating often. I did take Emily out yesterday and she seemed to enjoy the dead grass and trees. Sniffing around where other animals had been the night before.

When I left San Diego I left all of my crafting materials. If you are a crafter you know how long it takes, not to mention $$, to gather all the things needed to create. I miss them. I know it is only stuff. I can get more stuff. The problem is the energy and the motivation to do so. I have half heartdedly tried to create using household items, cutouts and white glue. They looked like a third grader's art. I promise myself I will do better. Next time.

Actually, I am rethinking NY for retirement. It is too expensive for a lady on SS. I am concerned over the fact that my exsisting medical insurance is not available here. Maybe rural VA, closer to my daughter (again). Let's face it. I am not getting any younger.

Enuff of this pity party. Get Over It!!! There's always tomorrow. And Prozac!

Spring Break in New York

My first visit to the Big Apple! Better late than never!

While on a business trip to VA my youngest granddaughter decided to accompany me to Standstillville, New York for spring break. I was very worried about entertaining her for a week. She is 14 and in involved in gymnastics which takes 20 per week and the rest is pretty much used up by homework. She is a straight A 8th grader. She has lots of friends from the gym which is not near home and friends from school. She loves crafts and so do I so we can always find something to fill our down times.

We made a tote back for her school books, cooked, walked along the creek and visited my sisters horses, dogs and cats.

My daughter and my 17 yr old granddaughter drove up to pick up the visiting daughter and we all took the train to the City for a one day visit. We walked from Penn Station to the Battery, WTC and Pier 17!!! My feet were killing me, but I did not complain. Because time was getting short we took the subway to Central Park and strolled around. Then on to Times Square which was amazing! We ended the day with dinner at a Kosher Deli. Fun. Back to Penn Station to catch the 9:45 train to the Mid Hudson Valley. A totally wonderful day after a wonderful week with my youngest granddaughter, Kelsey. They left early the next morning for Easter dinner in Va with their father who shared his wife and daughters for the Easter holiday.

WE HATE PURSES!!!

My sister and I have one thing in common, apart from having the same mother, WE HATE PURSES!!! But we keep trying to find the right one. The one that is better than the last one we bought. The one that is better than all the others we have in the closet. We don't get rid of the ones in the closet because we are not sure that the purse we have recently purchased will satisfy all our needs. Soooooo a few days ago we were shopping in our favorite store: THE THRIFT STORE. We don't have a favorite thrift store. Any thrift store will do. We don't necessarily plan these trips. While her very nice husband is driving we may spot a thrift store and say STOP!!! In we go with the promise that "we will be right out". HA! Once inside our favorite store we head straight for the purses. First let me tell you what we think is the favorite purse. It is small. It has a strap that goes across your shoulders, for safety and your hands are free. The perfect purse has to hold all the necessary items. Folding $$ and a separate pocket for coins. Credit cards, keys (they can hang on the outside), lip stuff, a pen and note pad for remembering what we want to purchase. Oh! and my most needed item is a place to put my cell phone so I can grab it on the first ring. So , there we were in our favorite store when my sister spotted a great purse and directed my attention to the THE PERFECT PURSE. We looked in all the pockets and turned it this way and that way and tried it on our shoulders and then I said , " I need this more than you". I paid $1.00 and we left the store. I began emptying my imperfect purse and arranging the new one. I was very satisfied with my purchase. A few days later while planning another trip to VA she was going through her collection of purses and found one that might meet her needs on the trip. She began filling it with the necessary items. We were happy once again. We both had purses we thought to be perfect. Later that day as I prepared to leave I picked up what I thought to be my new perfect purse and she looked at it and said "that is my purse". We looked closer and discovered that they were identical! We laughed. But we almost peed our pants when I said," What would be really funny is if you had bought what is now my purse, you would've had two of the same purses. So...... We now have the PERFECT PURSE. We just have to make sure that the purse hanging on our shoulders is really Our purse and not the sister's!!! (ya know like "but officer I thought it was my purse". I guess you hadda be there.

A Brighter Day

These are the things that make me realize how lucky I am. These and the friends that answered my CALL.

I have many more of these days than the dark ones. The ones in which I let myself hang onto sadness. The ones when I feel helpless. The days when the black clouds in my mind cover the sunshine.

I am thankful for days like this when the strength in me takes over and lets me again know who I really am.

Peaceful and Planning, E

Is There Anyone Out There Who Cares ???

I have dug myself in so deep I am gonna have trouble gettin out.

Since my last post I have needed to write, but everything that I think is negative. I am holed up in my apartment and can't get up enough energy to go outside. I know what I am doing because I have been here many times. I have to really get sick of myself, of talking trash about myself and others. I am not avoiding anyone because there is no one to avoid.

I am watching a lot of old movies on tv and I try to read but can't get interested in anything. I began painting an old bookcase but didn't have the right paint so i just quit. I painted a tray and then began looking for patterns in wallpaper books to cut out and decoupage onto the tray. I have no imagination,so that's on hold also. The weather actually looks nice. Sunny, with a little snow on the ground. I usually love to walk but.......

As I have said in my past posts, I left my home in So. Ca. to follow my youngest daughter , her husband and my two granddaughters to the east coast. After trying to co-habit with them I just called it quits, packed up and came up north to find another home. My sister and her husband live close and are very nice people. Their lives are filled with caring for 2 old horses, 3 dogs and 2 cats. They don't converse much and are very content. I enjoy being with them and we go grocery shopping together, but something is missing.

For one thing, I cannot afford the apartment I am in. I signed a one year lease and know I am locked in and I will take money out of my savings to handle the expense. What I am not doin is going out to make new friends. I am still hurting that I wasn't welcome in my daughters basement, which was a complete seperate apartment. I just can't seem to get over it, try as I may.

I know I will be fine and i will plan some day trips to places I haven't seen. Right now, I am lonely and need to lick my wounds.

Thanks for listening. E

In Between a Rock and a Hard Place

So much for Living in a Christmas Card as my last blog read.

I haven't rented an apartment for over 40 years. I had forgotten what it is like to have to call the Landlord when things do not work. I am paying what I consider a good amount for a 1 bedroom apt in the middle of nowhere. I have been here for 5 weeks and I have called because: toilet runs constantly, no hot water (twice) it's been fixed (hopefully), No heat (40 degrees iside) twice. Wasps and lady bugs every day crawling around dying, fridge runs constantly need new seal. And a muddy trail up to the apt that turns into a bog after the snow melts. Other than that, this is a great place.

I took this picture while driving around a few days ago. I feel I need a tank of that in my yard and maybe nothing would matter.

My problem is that I do not always think before leaping. This is not the first mess I have gotten into and I am sure it won't be the last.

I am cutting out stuff from Wallpaper books to use in decoupage. That and a glass of wine will keep me from over reacting --again.

Hope you are having a better day than I. E

I Live in a Christmas Card

Now this is one of the reasons I moved to the East Coast! I am snowed in and am lovin it. Of course, this is Day One. I have chicken soup in the crock pot and a beautiful view from every window in my apartment.

I took a walk this morning and took these pictures. It was so quiet and it was as if I was the only person for miles. I couldn't wait to send the pictures back home to San Diego. I know if I had to go to work it would not be pleasant. I am sure people just stay home when it snows, don't they? I mean you could get hurt out there. I do not have the faintest idea of how to drive in this weather. I couldn't get my car out anyway because I live in the middle of a grassy field. Besides that, I do not have a driveway. The landlord will have to come and plow one (hopefully). I guess I will miss happy hour at Sonny's Cafe today.

I am watching the news and some people are not as lucky as I and are having a terrible time getting to where they are going. Shoulda stayed like me. A great day for reading, doing arts and crafts, cooking (while enjoying a nice glass of Merlot). Emily, my cat, has been sleeping all day. That means when we get in bed tonight she will want to be petted and talked to and I will want to go to sleep. Don't you wish you had my problems?

Mid Hudson Valley - A Great Place

The tirp to VA to gather the rest of my personal belongings and to visit my doctor was hard due to the fact that I had issues with my daughter and her husband about my leaving VA. They wanted me close by but not in their basement. I figured that as long as I was moving that I would go someplace I had never been. At first things were awkward and then it got better and we even enjoyed each others company.

My cat, Emily, remained at home for the 8 days and my brother-in-law checked on her often. He said he knew she was there because the food had been eaten. Emily had entertained herself with the thing she does when I leave her alone too long....Tears the toilet tissue off the roll and spreads it all over the bathroom. If I ignore her she will bite my ankle and run like hell. That is what I love about cats. They stand up for themselves.

My sister and her husband and I moved a huge sofa and chair up the stairs to my living room and also a 9 drawer dresser. My back let me know that I should not be doing that activity so I have been taking it easy for the past few days. Just shopping for drapes and small decorative wall hangings. It is beginning to look and feel like Home. A place for Emily and Me.

Return to Vienna, VA

This is the "home" I left early in January of this year. I left because I felt my family and I expected different things from each other.

Perhaps I ran away rather than try to work things out. I thought that I had tried everything in the five months I was there to make our living in the same house as one happy family.

Now I am going back to keep doctor's appts. and to pick up the rest of my belongings. I have mixed emotions. When my daughter calls she sounds fine and tells me everything is working out and that my college educated granddaughter and her boyfriend are doing well in my former apartment in the basement. I am glad for them, but sad for me.

When I get back to Standstillville next week with my possessions I will settle down in my new home and begin a new life. I am thinking I might get a part time job so that I can be around people. My sister and her husband are very nice and I will spend time with them, but I do not want to wear out my welcome. I will occupy my time with my blog and arts and crafts and walking in this beautiful area. I am happy that I am able to choose where I want to be.

I still believe that families can be happy with 3 generations or more under the same roof. Maybe I am wrong. What do you think?

Solitude

The day began as usual. Emily licking me in the face wanting to be fed. So I crawled out of a warm bed and fed her and then made coffee. Ahhhh the best part of the day. Hot blonde and sweet coffee and gazing out the window and writing in my journal.

Journaling is a habit I have had for 25 years. After my mother passed at the age of 64 I began to wonder who she really was so I began keeping a journal so that my daughter would know who I was and how I really felt about my life as it happened. I have never shared my journals with anyone.

After listening to the political crap for an hour or so I became restless and decided to take a drive to another small town a few miles from Stanstillville. The drive was nice with a little unmelted snow along the side of the road. The town is very quaint and does not have many stores to visit so my visit didn't last long. I came back to my small town and went into a few businesses and introduced myself and enjoyed talking to the proprietors. That didn't last long enough and I ended up at home way too early.

The good part is that Emily was waiting for me. Actually, she was in bed under the covers and did not get up when I came in.

Life in Upstate New York in Winter

Here I am in my new home in upstate New York. It is a small town that dates back to 1793 so it says in topiary bushes in front of the Town Hall. It has a post office , a wonderful country store where you can purchase almost anything. You have to pay a little more but the convenience is worth it. Who wants to drive 20 miles for a quart of milk? I found a wonderful watering hole. Having spent a lot of years working in the restaurant business, I enjoy sitting and having a brewsky and chatting with the locals or listening to their conversations.



Keep in mind that I live alone with my cat Emily out in the middle of a huge field. I can see other houses because the trees have lost their leaves, but I am not close enough to see anyone to say "hello". I like people and want to be around them. My sister and her husband live close by and I do visit with them. They are very quiet and I am not. Sooooooo I must be careful not to wear out my welcome.



I am kinda sorry I signed a year lease for my apartment. It is a salt box type? and has lots of windows which will be great when I settle down and decide to do art and crafts. I do not have comfortable furniture yet. My sister has loaned me a bed, dresser a little kitchen table and 2 chairs and a queen anne type chair for watching tv which I had to buy. The kitchen is fine and so I have all that I need. But I want more. Like a comfy couch to lie upon while watching tv.



The worst part of my new accomodations is that there is no driveway to the house. You just drive across the field which is ok if it doesn't rain too much. It did today and I got stuck. Not happy. I will learn to park just off the little road when the weather is not great, which is most of the time here in Stanfordville.



So what do you think about my adventure so far? I know, "She's nuts".

Families are Forever, Aren't They???

I know, it's been 6 months since I wrote. A lot has happened. Most of it not worth going into. Let's just say that my plan for joining my daughter and her family on the east coast failed miserably. Oh, I got there okay full of plans for being part of a big family. Working out problems together, planning celebrations, and building a whole new life together. NOT!

My daughter expected me to get a job and within 10 days I was working at Bob Evans' Family Restaurant. It just about killed me. First I had learn the 10 page menu and Then learn the codes s0 I could enter them in the computer for the kitchen!!!! I have earned many $$$ as a "waitress", that is what they called us back then. But the work is hard enough on your body let alone wear your brain out at the same time.

I just wanted to help out the family as I had been doing for years. They liked that as long as I didn't live in the basement. Now,I want you to know, I set up a kitchen in the laundry room which was in the basement and it has a full bath and a separate entrance. When I did go up to say hello, it was as if I was a stranger and had interrupted their life. I began to walk on egg shells. But at the same time I was on the driving schedule and also let my teenage granddaughter drive my car!!!

Enough, I decided to move out and thought "as long as I am moving, why not move to another state since my other reason for leaving SoCal was to SEE the east Coast. I called my sister in up state New York and packed my little suv with cat and clothes and said 'Adios".

It wasn't all bad, but I figured the longer I hung out there the worse it could get. Actually I am pretty good at running away. but that is another story.